I Can See Clearly Now

The rain's not gone, but my glasses are.

They've been gone for almost 3 years now.  It's a miracle!

My eyesight was quite poor and that's putting it mildly.  In truth, I was bat blind.  I know everyone says that, but I really was.  Nobody believed me until they put my glasses on. Invariably I got this reaction:

"Whoa!  Holy cow.  You can see through these?  You are blind!"

Yep.  Myopic, to be technical.  Nearsighted.  I couldn't see things far away and by far away I mean about a foot from my face.   Your average prescription is between -1 and -5.  My eyes were -9 and -9.5.  To put it in perspective, -20 is legally blind.  I once asked an optometrist, "if 20/20 is normal vision, what am I?"  His response:

 "20/lousy.  Seriously, the scale doesn't go up that high.  It stops at 20/400."

Whoa, indeed.

But now, I can see without the aid of contacts or glasses.  And, no, I did not have Lasik, smartypants.  I was laid on hands by a faith healer.

Just kidding.  That would be a miracle.

No, it was just an ophthalmologist who is very, very good at his job.  I want to protect his privacy (although he might not mind the publicity), but if you want a recommendation for any eye procedure, let me know.  Dr. R is the best.  It doesn't hurt that he's cute either.  I've never had a hero crush on anyone before, but the man gave me eyesight.  How could I not worship him?

I got to see him today.  It was my annual checkup.  That's why it's on my mind.  If you're wondering what this all has to do with training for a triathlon, let me tell you how freakin' brilliant it is to not have to wear glasses while working out.  Especially while swimming or running in the rain.  And I don't have to fuss with contacts either, although strictly speaking, I do wear them.  Sort of.  But they are in my eyes.  That's right.  In.  My.  Eyes.  

I had non-phakic IOL.  If you are the curious type and not squeamish about eyeballs you can watch a two-minute video explaining the procedure.  A miracle of science, no?  I think so.  Especially since the only downside is I always have red-eye in photos.  Small price to pay.  (Although the procedure itself was not a small price, but still... totally worth it.)

k

You Go Girl!

No, I'm not congratulating myself.  That's the name of the 10k race I ran on Sunday.

Despite my crossed fingers and fervent wishing it was raining.  Bummer way to start the morning.  Waking was tough enough already since the night before was exhausting.  We battled record crowds at the state fair and stayed late (for us) to watch a friend's son's band.  Totally worth it!  Awesome show.  And our boys were agreeable and co-operative which means we all enjoyed ourselves.

But I woke up tired and not at all enthused about running in the rain.  My husband wisely advised me not to psych myself out before I even began.  I was concerned though about what to wear.  I haven't run competitively since high school which means I haven't run in the rain since high school.  (Why run in the rain if you don't have to?  Especially when the Y is only a mile away.)  I have a lightweight rain jacket, but it's not fitted and doesn't breathe well.  However, I wanted something waterproof to wear over my ipod.  I wasn't sure how it would hold up in the rain.  Not only did I not want to ruin it, but I wasn't entirely convinced wet headphones wouldn't fry my brain.  I settled on wearing the coat because I knew if I overheated I could take it off and tie it around my waist.  I made the right choice.  I did end up removing it while running, but I was grateful for it while warming up.

I wouldn't call waiting around for the race to start fun necessarily, but it was entertaining.  There was live music and lots to see like ironic t-shirt slogans (my favorite: This seemed like a good idea 3 months ago), dogs in rain gear, and men in tutus (the race was a breast cancer research fundraiser and technically for women only, but men were allowed to participate as long as they donned something pink).  And there were dozens of women wearing baseball hats and garbage bags.  Bizarre at first sight, but when I thought about it very smart; caps don't hinder your vision as much as a hood and the bag is light weight and easily handed off, wadded up in a pocket, or discarded in a trash can at any point during the race.  Lesson learned.  Finally, I chatted up the ladies in front of me in line for the bathroom because they appeared lean, relaxed, seasoned runners.  They both had earphones slung around their necks and assuaged my fears about using my ipod by swearing they had never had their brains fried.

Despite all my worrying I loved every second of the race.  I truly did.  The cheering crowds, the National Anthem, the water station sponsored by the cute "Single Guys" trying to get numbers, the cops stopping traffic for us, the feeling of sisterhood, and the satisfaction of completing a goal added up to a fantastically good time.  The running seemed effortless.  The course was more uphill than I expected, but lots of downhill too and I had no trouble keeping a brisk pace.  In fact, I beat my personal best by a full two minutes.  My official time was 55:49 which means I ran 9 minute miles!  I placed 73 out of 792 so I was in the top 10%.  The 2.5 scones I ate the night before provided the perfect carb-laden jet fuel.

The best part was having all my boys there to congratulate me at the finish line and then whisk me away home in our warm, dry car to a long, hot shower.  After dropping me off they left again to meet up with my parents abandoning me in an empty house.  An utterly quiet empty house.  I slipped into my comfiest yoga pants and my fleeciest sweatshirt and snuggled up on the couch with my Snuggie and the other half of that scone to watch Project Runway on TiVo.  All by myself.  With no one begging for a bite of my treat, no one whining or crying or fighting in the background, no one trying to wrestle me, and no one crawling in my lap expecting a back scratching session.  Unwinding alone = stay-at-home mom heaven.

I'm already looking forward to next year.  I'll be upgrading to the half-marathon.  You heard it here first, people.


k

PS  When I registered for the race I had to pick a shirt size.  I was warned they ran small and advised to order a size bigger than I normally wear.  As it turns out the shirts actually run a little big and the medium shirt I got is larger than I'd like.  While I was running hubby tried to exchange it for me, but they were out of smalls.  They did, however, have a bunch of extra-larges.  Hmm... wonder why that would be?  Anyway, the lady felt badly so she gave me a shirt from a different race to make up for it.  Karma, baby. Last year when I ran the Y Fun Run 5k there was a mix up and I never got a shirt at all.  Now I can proudly wear my Michelob Half-Marathon shirt and everyone will think I can run 13 miles drunk.  Cool.

Keep Your Fingers Crossed!

My first official 10k race is tomorrow morning.  As of yesterday "they" were predicting today will be gorgeous with record high temps, but tomorrow a 70% chance of heavy rain.  I was not a happy camper last night when I read that.  Today, however, the little weather icon has 3 less rain drops and now says there is a 60% chance of light showers. That I can handle.  Still not ideal, but maybe not utterly miserable.  I just need one rain free hour from 8:45-9:45a.m. PST so please pray to the weather gods for me!

NO!

YES!!

k

I Digress

This is not at all related to training for the triathlon, just a short anecdote that will be extra appreciated by those who have experienced the socially awkward weirdness that is Facebook.  The more I think about it the more it cracks me up because it's got me reminiscing about the socially awkward weirdness that was me.

When I joined FB a year and a half or so ago one of the first friend requests I received was from someone I had a crush on in 3rd grade.  (BTW I think it's a safe bet he doesn't read this blog.)  We went all the way through school together, but I wouldn't call us friends.  Even when I was crushing on him, we didn't talk much.  He seemed like the quiet type and was sporty so we didn't hang with the same crowds.  This is probably a good time to mention back then I wore glasses resembling these:

Seriously.  The only difference is mine were purple and bifocals.  Seriously.  I had bifocals when I was eight.  Also, I was (still am) a short, freckly, redhead.  My coolest outfit was a pair of hand-me-down Jordache jeans and a blouse adorned with a unicorn head (rainbow mane, of course).  My hair was cut in a style that can only be described as Sally Jessy Raphael.  And to top it all off my friends and I were certified nerds (think Krelboynes from the tv show Malcolm in the Middle).  So, yeah, I was flattered this guy remembered me.

We both post on FB fairly regularly, but haven't had any direct communication with each other until about a week ago when we had the following exchange, initiated by him, through FB email.

------ September 10 at 8:00pm

Hey...how goes it? Things are well for me. I can remember the last time we talked but am sorry we haven't since then. I hope all is well with you and your family. Just wanted to say hi.

-

KFuji September 11 at 8:25pm

Hi,

Things are for pretty great for me too, I'm happy to report. Looks like you've got a houseful of beautiful ladies. I'm drowning in transformers and legos myself.

When was the last time we talked? I'll be honest and say the best memory I have of us is on the bus in 3rd and 4th grade since I had a big crush on you back then.

K

 ------ September 12 at 7:42am

Didn't you make an appearance at my wedding reception? I thought we had talked for a while, back then...15 years ago.

-

 KFuji September 12 at 11:22am

Nope. Interesting. I wonder who you're thinking of? I'd like to meet her.

K
________________________________________________________


End of communication.

So much for him remembering me.

I wonder who in the hell he thinks I am?



k

Workout "Fashion"

Oh the things I've seen.

It's bewildering what some deem appropriate workout attire.  I can't claim to be the most stylish wannabe athlete, but my goodness....

There's a lady at the Y who regularly works out in a faded ribbed tank top (looks comfortable), cut-off sweat pants (I'm with you), and... pearls (WTF)?  I understand not wanting to leave pearls in a Y locker, but the so-not-chic rest of the outfit renders them conspicuous.  In my humble opinion, if you work out in pearls you should also model the very latest from Nordstrom's active line.  (BTW I can't believe there are woman paying upwards of $70 to sweat in their boot cut yoga pants.)

Then I am often startled by the, ahem, "more mature" gentleman confidently striding about in skin-tight cycling gear.  Gotta admit he's in fantastic shape, but must he prance all around the Y in spandex?  I swear he's around every corner.  Why is he even wearing a cycling outfit at the Y?  For spinning class?  That seems extreme.  Admittedly I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure there's no advantage to being aerodynamically streamlined on a stationary bike.  Besides the shorts leave nothing to the imagination and I have a very active imagination.

And, guys, in case there is any doubt I assure you shorts with black shoes and black socks pulled up over your calves do not look any better on a treadmill than they do at popular European tourist attractions.

But my all-time fave is the guy on the elliptical wearing a flannel shirt, jeans, and work boots.  Not work out boots, work boots.  I think he came straight from the garage.  It's even funnier he was on the elliptical and not the treadmill, right?  So wish I had a picture.



k

I-ron-EE

I'm blogging instead of working out.

Come on, now.  You aren't surprised are you?   It was inevitable this would happen.  I'm only surprised it didn't happen sooner.  Procrastination and me, we're old friends you see.  We go way back.  Way, way back.  Once in high school, and hand to god this is a true story, I checked out a book on conquering procrastination and had to turn it back into the library before I'd read it.  I-ron-EE!  BTW, when I type that I'm hearing the voice of Kevin McDonald, from Kids in the Hall, in my head.  I hope you're hearing it that way too because it's freakin' hysterical.   I know Dan is.  I should dig those DVDS out... no I'm not being sarcastic... it's a speech impediment.

Yeah, totally unfocused today.

k

All the Models Wanna Be Like Me

Guess what the new fashion trend this fall is?

You know what, forget it.  You'll never guess.

Gap teeth.

Yes.  It's true.  As hard as it is to believe (and I find it very hard) apparently the "it" thing this year is for models on the runway to sport gap teeth.  Ridiculous.  Firstly, this is ludicrously arbitrary even for an industry based on ludicrously arbitrary.  Secondly, have you ever seen a model's teeth on the runway?  Even if they did smile, which they don't, how could anyone possibly notice a gap a few millimeters across?  Thirdly, it's ludicrously arbitrary.  I already mentioned that?  Well, it is.

Whatever.  So over it.  I've been rocking that look since 2nd grade.  Like Snooki and her bump, I've matured past my trademark (although unlike her I do not have my own Wikipedia entry).  That's the mark of a true trendsetter; have the look before anyone thinks it's cool and just when it gets popular declare it uncool and move on.  That's right.  I'm too sexy for my cat.

Sigh.  And, yes, I am quite aware of the irony involved.  Here I am spending beaucoup bucks to get rid of the one hip thing about me.  It's all good though, baby.  Trust me, this time next year gap teeth will be out and freakishly long second toes will be in and I will, once again, be the trendiest trendsetter of them all.

Thanks for nothing, Sookie

k

Promise to My Followers

As a child I loved reading the comic pages (or "the funnies" as my dad adorably calls them), especially on Sundays, of course, when they were in color and 4(!) pages long.  Kid heaven.  I would spread them out on the table, pour a big bowl of Rice Crisp cereal (generic brands reigned supreme in our pantry) put a heaping tablespoon of sugar on top (my mom did her best, but I knew all the ways to make my meals as unhealthy as the junk she refused to buy--good for you, Mom!) and delight in the antics of Ziggy and Garfield.  (On a side note, I'd like to go on the record and state I have never liked Dennis the Menace.  Poor Mr. Wilson,  Mrs. Wilson still hasn't let him strangle that punk yet.)   And although I admired the cartoonists for their (sometimes) funny funnies,  I also pitied them.  Imagine having to come up with a joke every single day.  Wow.  It wouldn't surprise me to hear their suicide rate is right up there with dentists.

And now I'm feeling some of that pressure myself.  I mean I have followers for pete's sake*  I've even noticed some names I don't recognize which is crazy cool.  Your encouraging comments both public and private feed my commitment and my heart.  Is that a corny thing to say?  I don't care!  It's true.  Something profound is happening inside me.  I can't quite put it into words at the moment, but you are playing a hand in it.

Gotta admit though, knowing people regularly read this blog is also kinda freaky.  When I wrote my first post I was thinking "well, hubby has to read it, he legally obligated himself during our wedding vows."  But I was skeptical anyone else would care.  Truth be told, I'm not sure I'm clever enough to entertain for an extended time period.  I should be.  My entire family is clever (have you read my brother's blog?), even those not related to me by blood like my sisters-in-law and my husband are witty, but I don't know... I'm on the fence about my own pithiness.   I think I might heckle myself if I were bold and impolite enough to be a heckler.  So, again, thanks for supporting me, friends.  One of the reasons I want to complete a triathlon is to push myself physically, see what I'm made of.  Now I see pushing myself emotionally and creatively is equally important.  Posting regularly as I have been is outside my comfort zone, but I'll definitely post at least once a week until the actual triathlon.

To infinity and beyond!

Sorry, it's just the coolest catch phrase ever.   

*Should "pete" be capitalized?  Is he a real guy?  Am I taking his name in vain?  Sorry, Pete!



k

I ♥ Dolly Parton

If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.

-Dolly Parton

Yes, this is completely random.  Except not really.  Admittedly, country isn't one of my favorite genres of music, but I am a huge Dolly Parton fan.  Her music is amazing, of course, but I'm more about the songstress herself.  This entry belongs in this blog because seeing her special on the Biography channel  inspired me to be a better person.

What's so wonderful about Dolly?  Well everything really, but I'll share a few highlights:

• Dolly is one of the few recording artists savvy enough to keep all her own publishing rights.  At one point in his career Elvis wanted to cover her song,  I Will Always Love You.  She was thrilled and honored, but unfortunately, Elvis' manager demanded half of the publishing rights.  Dolly informed him that was not possible and the deal fell through.  Although it broke her heart, she was unwilling to compromise her rights as a songwriter.  Talk about balls!  The woman said no to Elvis.  However, unless you live in a cave, you know how the story ends.  Years later that same song was covered by Whitney Houston for her movie The Bodyguard and became a pop cultural phenomenon.  Had Dolly given half the publishing rights to Elvis she would have lost out on millions of dollars. 

• Before she became a megastar, she was a sidekick on a popular variety show.  When she decided to pursue her Hollywood dreams many told her she would never make it and was crazy to leave such a successful gig.  In fact, the star of the show himself told her that and let it be known his feelings were hurt.  However, she felt strongly she must follow her own heart.  When speaking about this career crossroads she said, "I like to think I haven't stepped on anyone to get where I am.  I've stepped over a few people and I've stepped around a few people."  Later on, when the star of the show had financial difficulties and Dolly was enjoying huge career success, she bought the publishing rights to his songs from him.  When he was back on his feet she gave those rights back to him free of charge.  

• Her public image is larger than life, but her private life is private.  She has been married to the same man for 44 years and it's her only marriage.  He is content to stay out of the public eye and she is content to let him.  She often jokes they spend most of their time together, it's just that no one ever sees him.  No one knows much about their family life either except they have no biological children, but helped raise some of her younger siblings and became guardians of a family friend's son when he lost both his parents.
• I used to think Dollywood was just a glitzy, campy, cheesy theme-park, but it is actually a sort of museum.  It features authentic regional cooking, home-grown bluegrass musicians, and preserves historical information about the Ozarks while also employing hundreds of locals with otherwise limited career opportunities . When she opened Dollywood, she created a viable revenue stream for an impoverished area.  This was intentional.
• She has never forgotten her humble upbringing or turned her back on where she came from.  She gives back in many ways including starting a charity that delivers free books to young children in low-income areas with high rates of illiteracy.

My favorite Dollyisms:

• "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap."
• Quizzed by the media about her weight loss secret she said, "It ain't no secret, I just eat less."
• "The way I see it is, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
• "I'm 5 foot nothing and a hundred and plenty."
• "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde."
• When asked on the set of Steel Magnolias why she didn't seem as bothered as her co-stars by the hot weather she replied, "All my life I wanted to be rich and famous.  Now I am.  I've got nothing to complain about."

So tell me, how can you not ♥ this woman?


k

Is It Just Me or Do Abs Never Get Any Easier?

As I progress I can do more with better form, but sheesh... they still burn as much as they did on day 1.  They are the only exercises that never seem to hurt less the more I do them.  I can now go for a longer period before the burning gets to the point where I want to kill somebody, but it always shows up.  Maybe that is why hell is described as being hot?   Satan is an enthusiastic personal trainer who forces you to do crunches while shouting at you for eternity, "come on, give me just one more!"   Shudder.  Now that would be hell.

Image from www.fullyillustrated.com

k

Go Figure

If you read my post titled My First Sports Injury! then you know I've been on watch to see if the second toenail on my right foot is going to fall off.  (So far so good BTW; hanging in there).  Tonight, right in the middle of preschool orientation while I was waiting my turn to talk (I'm on the board), I noticed the third toenail on that same foot looked odd.  I bent down to touch it and the top layer of the nail with the red polish on it fell off on the floor.  Yeah... it was icky.  I didn't think anyone noticed (I was sitting in the front of the room facing the crowd) so I put my foot over the broken nail and nonchalantly slid it under my chair.  What else could I do?

At least there is still a thin layer of nail there, but... yuck.  I suppose I'm a real runner now.  I will spare you a picture.



k

Break Fast*

The fasting was a success.  I made it through and awoke this morning 4lbs lighter and feeling good. Hungry, but good.  I ate a chicken breakfast sausage, scrambled egg with a spoonful of homemade salsa, and a small apple as my first post-fast meal.  Delicious.  My stomach is grumbling a bit, but I'm hoping as the weeks go on and I continue to avoid gluten and sugar, things will calm down.

Today fall is in the air and the clock relentlessly ticks down the days to long-pants weather.  I'm guessing I still need to trim at least 10lbs to fit comfortably into what is already in my closet.  Although my GYN did confirm for me at my annual appointment it's likely I put on at least some muscle weight.  She thinks I appear healthier than this time last year and am "wearing the extra pounds well."  That's nice to hear, especially from a health professional.  Helps keep me focused on health over vanity.  So essential to do that, ladies.

Today I move on to phase 3 of  ChaLEAN Extreme.  I'm curious to see if it's even heavier weights or lighter weights and more reps or what?  I'll find out in about 45 minutes.  I'm letting my breakfast settle first.

Mmmm... breakfast

*Did you know that's where the word breakfast comes from?  You are breaking your fast from the night before hence "break fast."  Now where they got lunch and dinner from I have no idea.



k

Why Does Fasting Go So Slowly?

Seriously, it should be called "lasting" because it makes your day last forever.

  

I'm just over halfway through the second day of my 2 day fast.  This is physically the most uncomfortable stretch, but psychologically the easiest because I can look forward to breakfast tomorrow. It's sobering to know some people live every day feeling hungry.  I acknowledge how blessed I am to be making a conscious choice to fast.  Not everyone is so lucky to have access to a stocked pantry and fridge a few feet away at all times.  At least I know tomorrow I eat.   Humbling.

A friend asked if I was fasting for religious reasons.  At first I said no, but upon contemplation I appreciate it as a spiritual experience.  It is cleansing, not only bodily, but also mentally.  It resets my metabolism and my thinking.  It wipes the slate clean and prompts introspection.  There's something to be said for occasional suffering.  I think it's true you learn what you're made of and what's important when you risk, endure, and prevail.

Tonight I dream of cereal.

k