Goals worth pursuing are hard work. At times it will feel as though your effort produces nothing. Other times success will seemingly fall into your lap. Don't be fooled. The windfall happened because you were shaking the tree.
k
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Margaritas! Midriffs! Danger!
I bring my iPod to the Y so I watch a lot of closed captioned TV. I recommend it. The news is often frightening with the volume turned up, but it's HI-larious muted.
First of all, angry people look funny and there are a lot of angry people on CNN. Secondly, the tickers and headlines--without any hard-hitting news (their words, not mine) to back them up--are knee-slappers. Take, for instance, the title of this post. Oh yes, I stole it word for word from a reputable news station (their words, not mine). It's the first time I've ever knowingly plagiarized (although, I did graduate high school and college with honors so you do the math), but it's just the best damn title ever. I didn't watch the story, but I think that for the best.
Next time the news is bumming you out turn off the sound, turn on the captions, turn up your iPod, and enjoy the show.
k
First of all, angry people look funny and there are a lot of angry people on CNN. Secondly, the tickers and headlines--without any hard-hitting news (their words, not mine) to back them up--are knee-slappers. Take, for instance, the title of this post. Oh yes, I stole it word for word from a reputable news station (their words, not mine). It's the first time I've ever knowingly plagiarized (although, I did graduate high school and college with honors so you do the math), but it's just the best damn title ever. I didn't watch the story, but I think that for the best.
Next time the news is bumming you out turn off the sound, turn on the captions, turn up your iPod, and enjoy the show.
k
Monday, February 28, 2011
Little Asian Ladies
Every time I think I've seen it all, I walk in the sauna and see a little more.
I've been frequenting the Y's steam room and sauna. I think it's safe to say I'm in love. It's heavenly to just sit there and sweat in the steam and then relax in the dry heat of the sauna. Except... the sauna isn't always that relaxing. You see, there's this gang of little Asian ladies....
Ok, referring to them as a gang is perhaps an exaggeration. "Pack" may be a better term. There is one descriptor I left out though. I should have written little, naked, Asian ladies. Because they are all naked all the time. Completely naked.
I'm no prude, but the first time I went to the sauna I was with a good friend and, in the middle of our conversation (with low voices so as to be considerate, of course), we were interrupted by a little, naked, Asian lady slapping her belly, thighs, and crotch. It was a tad distracting, to say the least. I have since been told the slapping helps increase blood flow, BUT, and this is a saggy butt, is it necessary to slap your naked, sweaty body while standing 3 feet away from total strangers?
If you answered "yes" to that question, I must assume you are a little, naked, Asian lady.
It's not only the nudity that is off-putting though. They act like they own the place and they will chastise you, loudly, if you break any of the rules. Off course, they do this naked. Let me tell you, I watch my step in that locker room. I do not want, under any circumstances, to ever be sternly told by a little, naked, Asian lady that I am not wearing proper shower shoes. I admit, however, I do immensely enjoy watching others being told off by little, naked, Asian ladies: 1) because it's funny and 2) because I hate when people break rules that are really just common-sense considerations. OF COURSE you shouldn't shave in the steam room! Yuck. If you do that you deserve to get told off by the gang of little, naked, Asian ladies.
So it's the last part of this post that's been holding me up. I've written the following a few times, a few different ways and I'm still not convinced I'm doing the scenario justice, but I just gotta move on.
One Sunday night, about an hour before the Y closed, I was one of only a few women in the "adults only" ladies locker room housing the steam room and sauna. I was able to undress with no one else around and, for the first time, I had the steam room all to myself the entire 20 minutes I was in there. Fabulous.
When I left the steam room, there was still no one around so I sat for a few minutes cooling off with my towel wrapped around me, taking deep breaths, inhaling the luxurious silence. I decided to finish off with a session in the sauna. I suppose I shouldn't have assumed it would also be empty, but I did.
The sauna is a small, rectangular room, maybe 6' x 12'? Something like that. There is a two-tiered wooden bench running the length of the room. The sauna door is on one end of the opposite side so when you open it, you are facing the benches. The bottom bench is about 2 feet off the ground and the top bench about 5 feet. I'm 5'3.
On this fateful night, I opened the door to the sauna and, about 2 feet in front of me and 3 feet to my left, at eye level, was a splayed, naked, lady's crotch. That's right. One of the little Asian ladies was lying on her back, on the top bench, facing the door, with her legs wide apart. AND she was doing pelvic thrusts. Completely naked.
I kid you not.
I was shocked. But, I guess because I've grown, if not fond of them, at least used to the little, naked, Asian ladies, I didn't bat an eye. I walked right in, climbed up on the bench next to her and laid down on the opposite side with my head about 18 inches from her feet. I closed my eyes, thought, "fuck it," and for the first time ever in any public place, unwrapped my towel. I was lying there, completely naked, for anyone and everyone who decided to come into the sauna to see. It was exhilarating. I figured, with my friend in here doing her nude sex exercise, who in the world is going to pay any attention to me anyway?
So the two of us hung out together completely naked for about 10 minutes until she left. When she did, I was tempted to cover myself back up with my towel, but I didn't. It may not seem like much to any of you who don't mind being naked in public, but it was a big step for me. Little, naked, Asian ladies liberated me.
For that, I thank them.
k
I've been frequenting the Y's steam room and sauna. I think it's safe to say I'm in love. It's heavenly to just sit there and sweat in the steam and then relax in the dry heat of the sauna. Except... the sauna isn't always that relaxing. You see, there's this gang of little Asian ladies....
Ok, referring to them as a gang is perhaps an exaggeration. "Pack" may be a better term. There is one descriptor I left out though. I should have written little, naked, Asian ladies. Because they are all naked all the time. Completely naked.
I'm no prude, but the first time I went to the sauna I was with a good friend and, in the middle of our conversation (with low voices so as to be considerate, of course), we were interrupted by a little, naked, Asian lady slapping her belly, thighs, and crotch. It was a tad distracting, to say the least. I have since been told the slapping helps increase blood flow, BUT, and this is a saggy butt, is it necessary to slap your naked, sweaty body while standing 3 feet away from total strangers?
If you answered "yes" to that question, I must assume you are a little, naked, Asian lady.
It's not only the nudity that is off-putting though. They act like they own the place and they will chastise you, loudly, if you break any of the rules. Off course, they do this naked. Let me tell you, I watch my step in that locker room. I do not want, under any circumstances, to ever be sternly told by a little, naked, Asian lady that I am not wearing proper shower shoes. I admit, however, I do immensely enjoy watching others being told off by little, naked, Asian ladies: 1) because it's funny and 2) because I hate when people break rules that are really just common-sense considerations. OF COURSE you shouldn't shave in the steam room! Yuck. If you do that you deserve to get told off by the gang of little, naked, Asian ladies.
So it's the last part of this post that's been holding me up. I've written the following a few times, a few different ways and I'm still not convinced I'm doing the scenario justice, but I just gotta move on.
One Sunday night, about an hour before the Y closed, I was one of only a few women in the "adults only" ladies locker room housing the steam room and sauna. I was able to undress with no one else around and, for the first time, I had the steam room all to myself the entire 20 minutes I was in there. Fabulous.
When I left the steam room, there was still no one around so I sat for a few minutes cooling off with my towel wrapped around me, taking deep breaths, inhaling the luxurious silence. I decided to finish off with a session in the sauna. I suppose I shouldn't have assumed it would also be empty, but I did.
The sauna is a small, rectangular room, maybe 6' x 12'? Something like that. There is a two-tiered wooden bench running the length of the room. The sauna door is on one end of the opposite side so when you open it, you are facing the benches. The bottom bench is about 2 feet off the ground and the top bench about 5 feet. I'm 5'3.
On this fateful night, I opened the door to the sauna and, about 2 feet in front of me and 3 feet to my left, at eye level, was a splayed, naked, lady's crotch. That's right. One of the little Asian ladies was lying on her back, on the top bench, facing the door, with her legs wide apart. AND she was doing pelvic thrusts. Completely naked.
I kid you not.
I was shocked. But, I guess because I've grown, if not fond of them, at least used to the little, naked, Asian ladies, I didn't bat an eye. I walked right in, climbed up on the bench next to her and laid down on the opposite side with my head about 18 inches from her feet. I closed my eyes, thought, "fuck it," and for the first time ever in any public place, unwrapped my towel. I was lying there, completely naked, for anyone and everyone who decided to come into the sauna to see. It was exhilarating. I figured, with my friend in here doing her nude sex exercise, who in the world is going to pay any attention to me anyway?
So the two of us hung out together completely naked for about 10 minutes until she left. When she did, I was tempted to cover myself back up with my towel, but I didn't. It may not seem like much to any of you who don't mind being naked in public, but it was a big step for me. Little, naked, Asian ladies liberated me.
For that, I thank them.
k
Thursday, February 24, 2011
13 Miles and Counting
I registered for my first-ever half-marathon today. I'm committed now. No backing out, no excuses. I mean, sure, yeah, technically, I can change my mind, but that would be $70 down the drain and money is too precious these days to flush it away.
I'm not that worried about it actually. I ran half the distance yesterday so I've already completed a quarter-marathon. Hmm... I like that. That sounds a lot cooler than 6.5miles.
Now I am in serious need of new running shoes. I've had all my toenails for over 6 months and I'd like to keep it that way. If you haven't already, you should pause a moment today, and give thanks for your toenails.
I know, I know, I still owe you Little Asian Ladies. I am working on it, but I've got a block for some reason and I want to do it justice. Art takes time, folks.
k
I'm not that worried about it actually. I ran half the distance yesterday so I've already completed a quarter-marathon. Hmm... I like that. That sounds a lot cooler than 6.5miles.
Now I am in serious need of new running shoes. I've had all my toenails for over 6 months and I'd like to keep it that way. If you haven't already, you should pause a moment today, and give thanks for your toenails.
I know, I know, I still owe you Little Asian Ladies. I am working on it, but I've got a block for some reason and I want to do it justice. Art takes time, folks.
k
Friday, February 4, 2011
My Bad
Um, yeah, so I realize it's been almost a month since I've posted. I know it looks bad, but actually I've been working out training 6 days a week since the first of the year. I haven't been writing anything about it because I've been busy starting up a business. That's going spectacularly well and needs my attention, but I don't want to let this blog go by the way side. I've got a few drafts I'm working on here and there and I intend to get at least one of them up this coming week. Stay tuned for Little Asian Ladies....
k
k
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Hot Mama
I went to my first-ever hot yoga class last night. I've taken a few yoga classes here and there so I was familiar with some of the poses and concepts. There are many types of yoga though and each one has it's own particularities. Take the breathing for instance. All 3 types of yoga I've practiced--hatha, kundalini, and Birkram--believe in cleansing breaths, but differ in their recommendations on how to take them. At some points last night I thought perhaps I'd be better off completely ignorant. Un-learning something is disorienting. So is contorting your body in a room heated to 100+ degrees, full of half-naked strangers.
During the class the instructor encouraged, "avoid being critical of yourself. This is the practice of yoga. You do not have to do it perfectly." Wow. What a profoundly freeing thought especially if you apply that same concept to life in general; it's all practice, baby, so bring it on!
If you are thinking of trying hot yoga, go for it. It is no-joke hot so eat light and hydrate yourself all day, bring twice as much water as you normally consume during a workout, and be prepared to soak-through-all-your-clothes-dripping-in-your-eyes sweat. In the beginning it's relaxingly toasty. In the middle it's refreshingly detoxifying. Near the end it's uncomfortably intense, but then it's time for finishing poses and finally sweet, sweet shavasana. Overall an enjoyable experience which is fortunate because I got a great deal on Groupon for ten 90-min sessions so that means I've paid for 9 more. I'm thinking I'll go at least once a week this month so as to get in the groove. Now I'll know what to expect, not just the practice, but also the logistics like where to park and where the best spots are (in the back by the windows).
Namaste.
During the class the instructor encouraged, "avoid being critical of yourself. This is the practice of yoga. You do not have to do it perfectly." Wow. What a profoundly freeing thought especially if you apply that same concept to life in general; it's all practice, baby, so bring it on!
If you are thinking of trying hot yoga, go for it. It is no-joke hot so eat light and hydrate yourself all day, bring twice as much water as you normally consume during a workout, and be prepared to soak-through-all-your-clothes-dripping-in-your-eyes sweat. In the beginning it's relaxingly toasty. In the middle it's refreshingly detoxifying. Near the end it's uncomfortably intense, but then it's time for finishing poses and finally sweet, sweet shavasana. Overall an enjoyable experience which is fortunate because I got a great deal on Groupon for ten 90-min sessions so that means I've paid for 9 more. I'm thinking I'll go at least once a week this month so as to get in the groove. Now I'll know what to expect, not just the practice, but also the logistics like where to park and where the best spots are (in the back by the windows).
Namaste.
 |
| Me after Bikram yoga. |
k
Sunday, January 2, 2011
No More Working Out
I'm not working out any more.
From now on I'm "in training."
Ha! You didn't think I was quitting did you? No way, Jose. I'm still 100% committed to completing a triathlon this year. That's why I now consider myself "in training" rather than merely "working out." A distinction of semantics* perhaps, but meaningful to me.
I've altered my goals slightly. I decided to run my first half-marathon in early May so my first triathlon will now be in mid-June to give me time to recover.
k
I've altered my goals slightly. I decided to run my first half-marathon in early May so my first triathlon will now be in mid-June to give me time to recover.
k
*When I first typed "semantics" I spelled it "symantecs" and was genuinely puzzled when spell check underlined it. I was sure that's how it's spelled. And it is. Symantec is a software manufacturing company. I'll bet you've heard of it too because, apparently, their marketing is so prevalent their name etched in my brain deeply enough to erase and replace an actual word.
k
k
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