All the Models Wanna Be Like Me

Guess what the new fashion trend this fall is?

You know what, forget it.  You'll never guess.

Gap teeth.

Yes.  It's true.  As hard as it is to believe (and I find it very hard) apparently the "it" thing this year is for models on the runway to sport gap teeth.  Ridiculous.  Firstly, this is ludicrously arbitrary even for an industry based on ludicrously arbitrary.  Secondly, have you ever seen a model's teeth on the runway?  Even if they did smile, which they don't, how could anyone possibly notice a gap a few millimeters across?  Thirdly, it's ludicrously arbitrary.  I already mentioned that?  Well, it is.

Whatever.  So over it.  I've been rocking that look since 2nd grade.  Like Snooki and her bump, I've matured past my trademark (although unlike her I do not have my own Wikipedia entry).  That's the mark of a true trendsetter; have the look before anyone thinks it's cool and just when it gets popular declare it uncool and move on.  That's right.  I'm too sexy for my cat.

Sigh.  And, yes, I am quite aware of the irony involved.  Here I am spending beaucoup bucks to get rid of the one hip thing about me.  It's all good though, baby.  Trust me, this time next year gap teeth will be out and freakishly long second toes will be in and I will, once again, be the trendiest trendsetter of them all.

Thanks for nothing, Sookie

k

Promise to My Followers

As a child I loved reading the comic pages (or "the funnies" as my dad adorably calls them), especially on Sundays, of course, when they were in color and 4(!) pages long.  Kid heaven.  I would spread them out on the table, pour a big bowl of Rice Crisp cereal (generic brands reigned supreme in our pantry) put a heaping tablespoon of sugar on top (my mom did her best, but I knew all the ways to make my meals as unhealthy as the junk she refused to buy--good for you, Mom!) and delight in the antics of Ziggy and Garfield.  (On a side note, I'd like to go on the record and state I have never liked Dennis the Menace.  Poor Mr. Wilson,  Mrs. Wilson still hasn't let him strangle that punk yet.)   And although I admired the cartoonists for their (sometimes) funny funnies,  I also pitied them.  Imagine having to come up with a joke every single day.  Wow.  It wouldn't surprise me to hear their suicide rate is right up there with dentists.

And now I'm feeling some of that pressure myself.  I mean I have followers for pete's sake*  I've even noticed some names I don't recognize which is crazy cool.  Your encouraging comments both public and private feed my commitment and my heart.  Is that a corny thing to say?  I don't care!  It's true.  Something profound is happening inside me.  I can't quite put it into words at the moment, but you are playing a hand in it.

Gotta admit though, knowing people regularly read this blog is also kinda freaky.  When I wrote my first post I was thinking "well, hubby has to read it, he legally obligated himself during our wedding vows."  But I was skeptical anyone else would care.  Truth be told, I'm not sure I'm clever enough to entertain for an extended time period.  I should be.  My entire family is clever (have you read my brother's blog?), even those not related to me by blood like my sisters-in-law and my husband are witty, but I don't know... I'm on the fence about my own pithiness.   I think I might heckle myself if I were bold and impolite enough to be a heckler.  So, again, thanks for supporting me, friends.  One of the reasons I want to complete a triathlon is to push myself physically, see what I'm made of.  Now I see pushing myself emotionally and creatively is equally important.  Posting regularly as I have been is outside my comfort zone, but I'll definitely post at least once a week until the actual triathlon.

To infinity and beyond!

Sorry, it's just the coolest catch phrase ever.   

*Should "pete" be capitalized?  Is he a real guy?  Am I taking his name in vain?  Sorry, Pete!



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I ♥ Dolly Parton

If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.

-Dolly Parton

Yes, this is completely random.  Except not really.  Admittedly, country isn't one of my favorite genres of music, but I am a huge Dolly Parton fan.  Her music is amazing, of course, but I'm more about the songstress herself.  This entry belongs in this blog because seeing her special on the Biography channel  inspired me to be a better person.

What's so wonderful about Dolly?  Well everything really, but I'll share a few highlights:

• Dolly is one of the few recording artists savvy enough to keep all her own publishing rights.  At one point in his career Elvis wanted to cover her song,  I Will Always Love You.  She was thrilled and honored, but unfortunately, Elvis' manager demanded half of the publishing rights.  Dolly informed him that was not possible and the deal fell through.  Although it broke her heart, she was unwilling to compromise her rights as a songwriter.  Talk about balls!  The woman said no to Elvis.  However, unless you live in a cave, you know how the story ends.  Years later that same song was covered by Whitney Houston for her movie The Bodyguard and became a pop cultural phenomenon.  Had Dolly given half the publishing rights to Elvis she would have lost out on millions of dollars. 

• Before she became a megastar, she was a sidekick on a popular variety show.  When she decided to pursue her Hollywood dreams many told her she would never make it and was crazy to leave such a successful gig.  In fact, the star of the show himself told her that and let it be known his feelings were hurt.  However, she felt strongly she must follow her own heart.  When speaking about this career crossroads she said, "I like to think I haven't stepped on anyone to get where I am.  I've stepped over a few people and I've stepped around a few people."  Later on, when the star of the show had financial difficulties and Dolly was enjoying huge career success, she bought the publishing rights to his songs from him.  When he was back on his feet she gave those rights back to him free of charge.  

• Her public image is larger than life, but her private life is private.  She has been married to the same man for 44 years and it's her only marriage.  He is content to stay out of the public eye and she is content to let him.  She often jokes they spend most of their time together, it's just that no one ever sees him.  No one knows much about their family life either except they have no biological children, but helped raise some of her younger siblings and became guardians of a family friend's son when he lost both his parents.
• I used to think Dollywood was just a glitzy, campy, cheesy theme-park, but it is actually a sort of museum.  It features authentic regional cooking, home-grown bluegrass musicians, and preserves historical information about the Ozarks while also employing hundreds of locals with otherwise limited career opportunities . When she opened Dollywood, she created a viable revenue stream for an impoverished area.  This was intentional.
• She has never forgotten her humble upbringing or turned her back on where she came from.  She gives back in many ways including starting a charity that delivers free books to young children in low-income areas with high rates of illiteracy.

My favorite Dollyisms:

• "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap."
• Quizzed by the media about her weight loss secret she said, "It ain't no secret, I just eat less."
• "The way I see it is, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
• "I'm 5 foot nothing and a hundred and plenty."
• "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde."
• When asked on the set of Steel Magnolias why she didn't seem as bothered as her co-stars by the hot weather she replied, "All my life I wanted to be rich and famous.  Now I am.  I've got nothing to complain about."

So tell me, how can you not ♥ this woman?


k

Is It Just Me or Do Abs Never Get Any Easier?

As I progress I can do more with better form, but sheesh... they still burn as much as they did on day 1.  They are the only exercises that never seem to hurt less the more I do them.  I can now go for a longer period before the burning gets to the point where I want to kill somebody, but it always shows up.  Maybe that is why hell is described as being hot?   Satan is an enthusiastic personal trainer who forces you to do crunches while shouting at you for eternity, "come on, give me just one more!"   Shudder.  Now that would be hell.

Image from www.fullyillustrated.com

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Go Figure

If you read my post titled My First Sports Injury! then you know I've been on watch to see if the second toenail on my right foot is going to fall off.  (So far so good BTW; hanging in there).  Tonight, right in the middle of preschool orientation while I was waiting my turn to talk (I'm on the board), I noticed the third toenail on that same foot looked odd.  I bent down to touch it and the top layer of the nail with the red polish on it fell off on the floor.  Yeah... it was icky.  I didn't think anyone noticed (I was sitting in the front of the room facing the crowd) so I put my foot over the broken nail and nonchalantly slid it under my chair.  What else could I do?

At least there is still a thin layer of nail there, but... yuck.  I suppose I'm a real runner now.  I will spare you a picture.



k

Break Fast*

The fasting was a success.  I made it through and awoke this morning 4lbs lighter and feeling good. Hungry, but good.  I ate a chicken breakfast sausage, scrambled egg with a spoonful of homemade salsa, and a small apple as my first post-fast meal.  Delicious.  My stomach is grumbling a bit, but I'm hoping as the weeks go on and I continue to avoid gluten and sugar, things will calm down.

Today fall is in the air and the clock relentlessly ticks down the days to long-pants weather.  I'm guessing I still need to trim at least 10lbs to fit comfortably into what is already in my closet.  Although my GYN did confirm for me at my annual appointment it's likely I put on at least some muscle weight.  She thinks I appear healthier than this time last year and am "wearing the extra pounds well."  That's nice to hear, especially from a health professional.  Helps keep me focused on health over vanity.  So essential to do that, ladies.

Today I move on to phase 3 of  ChaLEAN Extreme.  I'm curious to see if it's even heavier weights or lighter weights and more reps or what?  I'll find out in about 45 minutes.  I'm letting my breakfast settle first.

Mmmm... breakfast

*Did you know that's where the word breakfast comes from?  You are breaking your fast from the night before hence "break fast."  Now where they got lunch and dinner from I have no idea.



k

Why Does Fasting Go So Slowly?

Seriously, it should be called "lasting" because it makes your day last forever.

  

I'm just over halfway through the second day of my 2 day fast.  This is physically the most uncomfortable stretch, but psychologically the easiest because I can look forward to breakfast tomorrow. It's sobering to know some people live every day feeling hungry.  I acknowledge how blessed I am to be making a conscious choice to fast.  Not everyone is so lucky to have access to a stocked pantry and fridge a few feet away at all times.  At least I know tomorrow I eat.   Humbling.

A friend asked if I was fasting for religious reasons.  At first I said no, but upon contemplation I appreciate it as a spiritual experience.  It is cleansing, not only bodily, but also mentally.  It resets my metabolism and my thinking.  It wipes the slate clean and prompts introspection.  There's something to be said for occasional suffering.  I think it's true you learn what you're made of and what's important when you risk, endure, and prevail.

Tonight I dream of cereal.

k